Ridgeway Unified Courts

JUDICIAL COUNCIL OF RIDGEWAY

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This is a document filed in a mock court in the State of Ridgeway on Roblox.com and does not constitute real-life legal advice or information in any way, shape, or form SUPERIOR COURT OF THE STATE OF RIDGEWAY SUPERCYBER, Petitioner, v. W6STER, Leiutenant in the Ridgeway County Sheriff’s Office, in their official capacity, Respondent. No. RSC-CV-2789 PETITION FOR WRIT OF HABEAS CORPUS ______Supercyber, by and through undersigned counsel, hereby petitions this Court for writ of habeas corpus corpus in accordance with 1 R. Stat. § 2210-2212 and alleges as follows: ALLEGATIONS1 1. On April 25, 2024, Petitioner Supercyber (“Petitioner”) was driving on a freeway in or near Palmer, Ridgeway County, Ridgeway. 2. Respondent W6ster (“Respondent”) suddenly came driving toward Petitioner at high speed on the wrong side of the same road with his emergency light and siren activated. 3. Petitioner was also driving at high speed. 4. Under the circumstances, Petitioner was unable to pull his vehicle over to the side of the road in time and Respondent subsequently collided with Petitioner. 5. Following the incident, Respondent arrested Petitioner for reckless driving in violation of § 7.02 of the Ridgeway State Vehicle Code.2 PARTIES 6. Petitioner Supercyber is a resident of the State of Ridgeway and an individual. 7. Respondent W6ster is a Leiutenant in the Ridgeway County Sheriff’s Office. JURISDICTION 8. This Court has original jurisdiction over this Petititon under Article V, Section IV of the Ridgeway Constitution. 9. Venue is proper in this Court because the actions and omissions alleged in this Petition occurred in the State of Ridgeway. ARGUMENT 10._“In assessing petitions for writs of habeas corpus concerning arrests, the first question to 2 Arrest Record No. 20244253d93c5dab. 1 The allegations contained under this heading are chronologically ordered. be asked is whether the police were legally entitled to make that arrest — that is, [] the police had probable cause that a crime was committed. If the arrest was not lawful to begin with, the inquiry ends there; the record must be removed. If not, the next and final question is whether the petitioner was actually innocent of the [offense(s)] for which they were arrested.” In re Zachcasisbeast, No. RSC-CV-367, slip op., at 1 (Super. May 21, 2022) (frostbleed, J.) 11._The arrest record in this case must be removed because, although Petitioner did collide with the arresting officer, application of the reckless driving statute was absurd. Indeed, it is a settled rule in statutory construction that a court must interpret a statute in a way that avoids absurd results–or privilege a statute's "spirit" over its "letter"–in circumstances that were unanticipated by the legislature. See United States v. Kirby, 7 Wall., 482 (1868) ("All laws should receive a sensible construction. General terms should be so limited in their application as not to lead to … an absurd consequence, and it will always be presumed that the legislature intended exceptions to its language which would avoid results of this character.."). 12. _The application of a statute in any particular case is “absurd” when it produces a result “so gross as to shock the general moral or common sense.” See Crooks v. Harrelson, 282 U.S. 55, 60 (1930). For instance, a law which enacts "that whoever draws blood in the streets should be punished with the utmost severity" does not extend to the surgeon who opens the vein of a person that falls down in the street in a fit. See United States v. Kirby, supra, 7 Wall., 487. A statute which enacts that “a prisoner who breaks prison shall be guilty of felony” does not extend to a prisoner who breaks out when the prison is on fire–"for he is not to be hanged because he would not stay to be burnt." Ibid. And similarly an ordinance that imposes fines upon “any person who occupies a public parking spot for more than two hours” does not apply to a driver who is unable to move because of a parade. See Utility Air Regulatory Group v. EPA, 573 U.S. 302 (2014) (BREYER, J., concurring). 13._In the above cases, the statutes are to be disregarded because the framers of the laws could not have intended the absurd outcomes which would otherwise arise had its language been enforced to the letter. As Judge Learned Hand pointed out many years ago, “[w]e can best reach the meaning here, as always, by recourse to the underlying purpose, and, with that as a guide, by trying to project upon the specific occasion how we think persons, actuated by such a purpose, would have dealt with it, if it had been presented to them at the time.” Borella v. Borden Co., 145 F.2d 63, 64 (CA2 1944). The pursuit of that underlying purpose may sometimes require us to - 2 - “abandon” a “literal interpretation.” Id., at 64–65. 14._In the case at bar, Petitioner was arrested for reckless driving for colliding with an officer who was driving toward him on the wrong side of the road at high speed. The letter of the reckless driving statute in this case must be set aside because of the gross absurdity and injustice of applying the provision. Petitioner was reasonably unable to prevent the collision, which was caused by the arresting officer’s own reckless and arguably unlawful driving. The arresting officer’s application of the reckless driving statute to Petitioner, who was unable to prevent the incident, thus shocks the general moral or common sense. Accordingly, the Court should order the expungement of the arrest record and such other habeas relief as it deems proper. PRAYER FOR RELIEF 0._ WHEREFORE, Petitioner prays that the Court– A._Award declaratory relief that probable cause did not exist for the arrest; B._Award Petitioner expungement of Arrest Record No. 20244253d93c5dab; C._Award such other, further, or different relief as may be just and proper. DATED: MAY 6, 2024 Palmer County Hall LAW OFFICE OF JOSEF SULLIVAN BY: /s/ - Josef13344 d/b/a Josef Sullivan Ridgeway Bar No. 21109 (Class 11) Counsel of Record Palmer Apartments, Suite 5B Palmer, Ridgeway Tel.: (430) 946-8594 Fax: (753) 632-2442 E-mail: [email protected] EXHIBITS A-B, INCLUSIVE A._Exhibit A (screenshot of arrest record): https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1118287612709458061/1237113502397628416/image.p ng?ex=663a773b&is=663925bb&hm=2d8943b252fc919ed5b9983ad355492a130c274cbb499c0e 5f9d8ef6bc93ba1e& A._Exhibit B (photograph of the arrest): https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1118287620124975175/1237117998855360532/image.p ng?ex=663a7b6b&is=663929eb&hm=c8adbad223cbfcba8f780f1a873b0d4979153eaa017d4464d 1d039047b370a93& - 3 -

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